Thursday, January 1, 2009

New Year Reflections

Every time January one rolls around, I find myself thinking of the past and seeing where I am today. I love this song, because it asks the question that really is what new years means to me - this is your life - are you who you want to be?

In the past, this question always bummed me out. As a young woman, I thought I knew so much, was so smart, had so much ahead in the future. Am I saying my now isn't good? No, I have many blessings and good things, but the things I had once thought I wanted for my life haven't happened. Last year, I was discussing this with a close friend and her questions to me were:

1) What are you missing from your dreams that you still want?
2) What would it take to get those things?
3) Are you willing to take those steps?

Now that I'm a bit older, I see that some of the things I wanted will never be - the time for them is past. There are goals I still DO desire to accomplish and even new goals that I never would have imagined. The hardest part to living a good life is knowing what it is that defines good for you, and the willpower to do what it takes to get those things.

My vision of myself at 25 was to be an earth-mom - homeschool my kids, have our home our sanctuary, and just be that wonder mom whose home was the heart place. Our life didn't work out that way - I did homeschool my oldest for a number of years and even started the 2nd daughter. I was vegan for a year. We did the earth mom lifestyle. It was a good time for me. Life changed. We moved. I ended up putting the girls in public school and going to work full time. I held on to my disappointment for ages and let it color my whole life. I have new plans and goals for my future - I call it my five year plan. It includes a healthy lifestyle for me with regular exercise and plenty of whole foods. It includes finishing up my bachelors in business management - I have five classes left to complete. I have visions on a physical store and new lifestyle to all take place in about 5 years. The 5 comes from my youngest child. She'll graduate high school and go on to college in that time frame, and once she's launched, I'm seriously thinking about a new location and new life.

This is your life... are you who you want to be?


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